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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27261013">boy hero</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/illstella/pseuds/illstella'>illstella</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Suicide Boy - ParkGee (Webcomic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Tags to Be Added, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:34:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,108</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27261013</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/illstella/pseuds/illstella</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Soorim lays eyes on the boy from B02, a strange fascination grows inside him. Well, strange until the inside of his wrist tingles, and he knows two things at once: it’s not the first time, not at all, and the second he feels somewhat stupid for not realizing it until now. </p><p>He laughs at Lee Hoon’s confused, wide-eyed expression, and thinks: it’s nice to meet you again, soulmate.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jung Soorim/Lee Hooni</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>98</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi! so a disclaimer: i wrote this like two months ago, never finished it, and lost interest. im just posting it now for funsies. I also might gain interest in the fandom again and write more, who knows, but as of now, it's pretty much gonna be on hiatus. i'll just be posting what i have as of right now.</p><p>also another disclaimer: this is, like, super out of character for soorim, mostly cuz he’s super young in this and hasn't quite developed to his personality in the comic. i tried to keep some parts of his personality, but also changed some things. also there's gonna be hella ocs.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their fated meeting goes like this: at noon, on a breezy day, all blue skies and wild laughter and chatter about. The playground is bustling, small children running around recklessly, and parents worriedly chasing after them. It’s the start of summer.</p><p>Soorim, a mere ten years old, stands in front of a boy he’s never seen before. Soorim’s just moved into the area and is eager to make friends. His mother’s hands rest on his shoulders. She’s smiling at the stranger. Sweetly, she says to him, “Well, don’t you look like a nice boy. Soorim, introduce yourself.”</p><p>“Yes mom!” He turns his head to the boy, and instantly, his heart skips a beat. The boy is a little taller than him, scrawnier, with short, spiky hair and round eyes. His head is angled down, pointedly not making eye contact with Soorim, and he’s fidgeting with his hands. There’s a thin and pallid woman behind him, but Soorim isn’t looking at her at all. There’s something about the boy drawing Soorim in, something that’s making his chest feel strange, though he can’t place exactly what it is. </p><p>And the instant they lock eyes, the world slows. All the children and adults disappear, and the two of them are all that’s left. Soorim feels light and giddy and all pleasant inside, so much so that he thinks he might start floating away and might not even mind if this new boy could come with him. At this moment, he knew that he had to know this boy now. </p><p>He thinks there might be a faint, tingling feeling in his wrist, but he ignores it. Must be nothing.</p><p>He extended his hand to this wonderful stranger, a great big smile on his face. “Nice to meet you, I’m Jung Soorim!” </p><p>Tentatively, the boy returns the gesture, shyly smiling at him. Soorim feels the fluttering in his chest and the warmth on his face, increasing tenfold. “uh...hi.” </p><p>Soorim grabs his hand, feeling electricity through their joined hands, and pulls him toward the slide. Later, he learns the boy’s name is Lee Hoon.</p><p>--</p><p>They spend all afternoon in only each others’ presence. Soorim convinced their mothers (the woman behind Lee Hoon was his mother, predictably) to leave them and take a walk around the grounds, under the conditions that they would absolutely not leave the area and would, more importantly, talk to strangers. </p><p><em>We won’t, we won’t, we promise, don’t even worry</em>, Soorim had assured them, grinning. It was more than true. With Lee Hoon in his sight, worrying that Soorim would even think of another person was unnecessary. The few hours Soorim spent with his new fascinating friend easily made this the best day of his life- better than the day he had finally beat Harim in a spar, better than the birthday when he received, and proceeded to devour, the largest chocolate cake he’d ever seen.</p><p>He had never felt more comfortable with another person than he had with Lee Hoon, more connected, more complemented, more... fluttery. Not the kind of fluttery when you’re in front of your class, all eyes on you, waiting for your presentation that, you knew, sort of sucked. But, well, the fluttery that made you want to jump up and down, do multiple cartwheels in a row, and laugh your heart out. He wanted to do all that with his new friend. Soorim didn’t know what else to call the feeling other than fluttery. </p><p>Their connection is nothing like he’s had before. Not with his mom, not with the girl from class 3-B who wrote him a love letter and said he was nice and cute and different from all the other boys, and not even with his closest friends. It’s too strange, too wonderful. (There are days Lee Hoon makes Soorim feel like, maybe, spending their days hanging off the jungle gym, chasing after each other, and lying under the shade of a tree and just, just <em>basking</em> in his presence- it feels so natural. There’s this almost inexplicable feeling he gets- as if he was made for this, as if- as if Soorim was born, <em>fated</em>, to meet him.)</p><p>The days pass fleetingly; exploring the playground, getting ice cream, just chatting and joking about trivial topics (or more specifically, Soorim doing most of the talking, and the ever-reserved Lee Hoon piping up to add his own comments occasionally), or running after each other, wind in their hair, smiles on their faces. Days turn into weeks, and those weeks turn into a month, and then two. It flies by quickly. </p><p>Until one day, Lee Hoon shows up with a black eye and bruises on his body and from there, it’s all downhill.</p><p>--</p><p>The shriek Soorim makes upon discovering Lee Hoon, all bruise-ridden and miserable, must’ve been pretty horrendous, by the way Lee Hoon shrinks away from him and covers his ears. It also attracts the eyes of some adults, who start whispering amongst themselves.</p><p>“Ah, sorry, sorry!” Soorim leads the two of them away to a more private area. He spots a bench and sits them down. “What happened? Are you okay?”</p><p>Lee Hoon’s silent, staring down in his lap, dark eyes cloudy. His face is red and breaths are shallow. Soorim stretches an arm around him, and Lee Hoon gives in, leaning towards him. </p><p>“Who did this to you?”</p><p>“It’s...It’s okay… Really...”</p><p>“Seriously, who did it?” But, try as he might, he never receives a direct answer, only more silence.</p><p>“Don’t worry…” Lee Hoon says, after a while. Tears start to fall from his eyes. Lee Hoon sucks in a sharp breath, puts his hands on his face, and starts to sob quietly. </p><p>“Hey, hey, it’s ok, it’s ok… Was it a bully? I mean, I knew they were teasing you, but I didn’t think it’d get this bad. Where are they? Where?”</p><p>“It’s- it’s fine, really. Please stop...” His voice is quivering. Soorim squeezes him tighter. </p><p>“Let me help you. I’ll beat them up! I’ll really teach them a lesson, you’ll see, I do martial arts, did I already tell you that? I’m the best in the class, well, besides Harim, but you know. Still good enough to help you. Try me! Just tell me who did it and I’ll-!”</p><p>“It was my dad, okay?!” </p><p>Soorim flinches. He’d never heard his friend shout so loudly, or shout at all. Eyebrows creased and tight lips, Lee Hoon’s looking at him intensely, and Soorim’s never been more lost and terrified. </p><p>“Ugh…” And he’s back to putting his face in his hands. “My mom’s gotten sicker. She’s been having more fits and fainting spells…” He takes a deep breath, and continues. “My dad’s been really worried and stressed out. It’s really- really expensive too… He doesn’t- he doesn’t know what to do anymore…”</p><p>“...”</p><p>“He’s really stressed, so he hit me a little. And said some stuff... I just got a little scared though and ran away and came- came here… It’s nothing...”  </p><p>“...”</p><p>“He started gambling a while ago. Mom yelled at him for it, and he stopped for a while, but recently, he just- started again… I don’t- um...”</p><p>“...”</p><p>“I’ve never seen you so quiet, Soorim. Usually you talk so much, but now I’m doing all the talking.” Lee Hoon looked off into the distance, and laughed humorlessly. “Isn’t that funny?”</p><p>“I… I’m sorry all of that is happening to you, Hyung. Um…” Soorim grabs his hands, stares directly into Lee Hoon’s swollen eyes, and tries to look resolute. “It’ll be okay!” </p><p>“It won’t.” There’s a pang in his heart at Lee Hoon’s abrupt, certain tone. Soorim continues nonetheless.</p><p>“It will! It really will! Your dad’s gonna stop doing all those bad things and your mom’s gonna- gonna get better! It’s gonna happen, I know it.” Soorim claims. These types of stories, they always have a happy ending, don't they? He wants to cry for his friend, but he tries not to, but his voice can’t help but shake and he knows Lee Hoon has caught onto that, caught onto his fear and unsureness. </p><p>Lee Hoon breaks away from Soorim. “What would someone like you know?”</p><p>“Huh..?”</p><p>“I’ve always been so <em>envious</em> of you, you know. You get everything you ask for, you live in a nice apartment, you’ve even got a healthy mom who cooks for you and cleans and walks you to school and helps you with your homework and- and-” </p><p>Lee Hoon, the same Lee Hoon with his trademark shy disposition and soft volume of speaking, was now baring his teeth, heaving with all of his pent up sadness and frustration. His body’s trembling badly. </p><p>“You don’t know anything! You don't! Shut up, shut up, shut up! It’s none of your business! You don’t know what it’s like, you’re never going to know, so stop pretending that you do and saying you know everything’s gonna be okay because you really don’t!”</p><p>“… I- I just wanted to help...”</p><p>“You can’t! Help me! You can’t do anything, so just stop it!” </p><p>And then, for a moment that seemed to last hours, all was silent. The air between the two was tense. Soorim’s eyes cast down at the dirt pathway below them, panic shaping into something solemn and ashamed. He can’t bring himself to look at the boy next to him. </p><p>“You’re right,” agreed Soorim for a few moments, before saying, “yeah, I’m really sorry for saying that.”</p><p>“Wait, no, no, no,” Now, Lee Hoon’s the one looking panicked. “That’s- agh, wait, no, I’m the one that’s sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you…”</p><p>“It’s fine dude, I shouldn’t have acted like I knew what was going to happen.” Soorim deems it okay to put his arm around Lee Hoon to comfort him, and Lee Hoon, thankfully, doesn’t resist.</p><p>“Yeah, but I just took all my anger out on you and you don’t deserve to be treated like that. Especially because you meant well. I’m sorry.” Lee Hoon appeared to be spent from all of his crying. He rubbed his eyes and stood up. “I’m sorry. Really.”</p><p>“I’m sorry too, dude.”</p><p>“Can you, ah, not tell your parents? Please? And… next time it happens, can you not bring it up?”</p><p>Eyebrows raised, Soorim questioned, “next time? You’re sure it’s gonna happen again?”</p><p>“No! I meant, uh, you know,” he faltered, hands waving all over the place, “if! If it happens again!”</p><p>Soorim looked at him, eyes tight and worried. Lee Hoon shrinks under his stare.</p><p>Relenting, he answered. “...Yeah, yeah, okay. I won’t.” </p><p>They sit in silence. Together, they watch the sun descend and the sky turn golden. It was a haunting sight: watching Lee Hoon weakly smile at him, before turning and heading towards a home where horrors were surely awaiting him. Soorim stomachs the sight, smiling back, nails digging painfully into his palm. As he returns to his home, desperate hopes fill his head.</p><p>He’ll be fine. He’ll be fine. It'll all be okay.</p><p>--</p><p>It happens again. The next day he comes back, and it’s with his body mottled with purples and blues. Soorim can’t help but cringe upon sight of him, but tries to make up for it by taking his hand and leading him away, chattering mock excitedly, “hey, I just got this new game and we can play together, you play as this really cool hero in blue and green, it’s super fun, super super fun, let me show you all the tricks I learned to beat some of the bosses, come on, let’s go sit over there…”</p><p>And when he notices Lee Hoon limp, he doesn’t say anything and just walks slower. That ugly feeling from yesterday worms its way into his chest once again, invading his mind with ugly thoughts (<em>no no no, he’s getting hurt and I’m not doing anything about it, what can I do, nothing, nothing, I can’t do anything, just watch because I’m useless... useless? I am?</em>), and no matter how hard he tries to think of pleasant thoughts, he can’t shake it off. Still, he gives a great big smile to Lee Hoon, who returns it, albeit smaller and withdrawn.</p><p>It happens again. And again, and again, until it’s the new normal now- Lee Hoon coming back injured and Soorim looking the other way. They don’t speak of it. Day and night, that awful, all-encompassing feeling makes Soorim’s chest its newfound home, makes it hard to breathe when all is silent and he lingers on it too much. </p><p>What can he do, so that all of this goes away?</p><p>--</p><p>One day, he’s with Lee Hoon, deep in thought, idling on the swings. Pushing himself to and fro, there’s another tense silence between them, ignoring the squeaks of the chains. It was rather common, now. Lee Hoon should’ve left an hour ago, but he didn’t, and Soorim didn’t mention it, unquestioning and grateful for his company even for just a little longer.</p><p>“Hey, actually, I’ve got something to-”</p><p>And it comes to him.</p><p>Without thinking, he blurts it out. “ Hyung. Live with me.”</p><p>Still, silence. Lee Hoon looks at him with wide eyes. Whatever he was going to say before, seems to be off his mind. Against the warm hues of sunset, he looks angelic. Soorim’s face is warm, all of a sudden. He looks away. Kicks up the dirt.</p><p>“What… What are you saying..?”</p><p>“Yeah, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it earlier! I mean, you said it yourself, right?” Soorim starts rocking himself back and forth animatedly, “that I have a nice apartment, and my mom treats me well.”</p><p>“Um…” Lee Hoon said, voice dying off at the end. Soorim ignores it and continues.</p><p>“She’d treat you well too. She likes you a lot, y’know? She’s always asking me about how you’re doing.” </p><p>“I don’t... really think that’s…ahaha...” Lee Hoon said, laugh dying off at the end. Soorim ignores it and continues.</p><p>“If you could live with me, you could get away from all that! Seriously! Haven’t you had enough?” Soorim’s getting heated, words rushing out of his mouth faster and faster. “It was hard, wasn’t it? It must have been. You were hurting so bad. I’m really really sorry you had to go through that, and I’m also really really sorry that I didn’t think of this until now. But this could be the end. Come on, go home with me.”</p><p>It’s a dream that’s looking more real and vivid with every second that passes. Soorim puts the heels of his feet on the ground, stopping the movement of his swinging. </p><p>“It’s gonna be so fun, Hyung. Everyday you can live with me and my mom! And Harim, she’s there too I guess, but she’s annoying so let’s just ignore her. Wait, actually! Let’s share a room. It’ll be like a sleepover every night! My room’s big enough for both of us, but you might have to sleep on the floor for a while. We don’t have an extra bed right now. Don’t worry, I’m sure mom can buy another one.” </p><p>Besides him, Lee Hoon isn’t saying anything. Surely, he’s so enveloped in this- this hope, must be seeing the same brilliant, brilliant light that Soorim sees, that he’s struck speechless.</p><p>His heart is racing, his mind drifting off to a fantasy. “Anyway, let’s not worry about that right now. I’ve got a ton of stuff to show you. There’s this superhero comic I really like, you know I read a lot of those. The main character saves people and beats the bad guys in this really cool way- like, first he says these badass lines and he has powers but he can also do Karate! He combines them, putting stuff like super strength and super speed in his moves. He can do some <em>sick</em> moves-”</p><p>“That’s...”</p><p>“-I can’t wait to show you when we get home. He can flip people like- like this!” Soorim stands up. He waves his arms around and moves his body in a way one might, very loosely, define a flip. “Well, it doesn’t look like much since I’m not, you know, practicing on someone. And also I don’t have powers, obviously, I wish I did, but-”</p><p>“Uh...” </p><p>“-I’ve been working on it lately and I can sorta do it, but I just need some practice to do it just like him. I’ll learn it for real and then I can teach it to you, if you want. Oh, now that we’re living together, we’ve got a lot of time on our hands. I can teach you a bunch of things! Once summer’s over, we can even go to the same sch-”</p><p>“Soorim...” </p><p>Soorim’s head whips towards him. His breath hitches. Lee Hoon’s curled in on himself, eyes shut tight, hands on his ears. He’s in tears. </p><p>“What? What is it? Why are you crying?” Soorim reaches out and gently cups his cheeks. He brushes the tears away. The sunset has nearly passed, and now the darkness of the night falls upon them. </p><p>“You...keep saying these impossible things… It’s nice you thought of all- all that but it’s not gonna happen.” His eyes are averted from Soorim’s. “It’s- it’s not like I’m gonna be here for much longer either, so...” </p><p>Soorim quirks a brow. “What? Now you’re just speaking nonsense. Come here,” he said tenderly and pulled Lee Hoon in. He says nothing and strokes his hair when Lee Hoon lets out soft whimpers and cries. The cicadas have stopped their incessant noises and the crickets have taken their place. The air of early August is cool, light breezes brushing up against them. Fireflies glow around the two. It’s the near end of summer.</p><p>A few minutes go by until there’s nothing but the chirping of crickets. “You alright now?” </p><p>A nod against Soorim’s chest, and then, “mhm…thanks. Sorry for freaking out like that.”</p><p>Soorim moves back onto his respective swing and crosses his arms. “That’s not something to apologize for. In fact, I should be the one that’s sorry for making you cry like that.” </p><p>“Oh, sorry, then,” he mutters, scratching the back of his head bashfully.</p><p>“Nope! Not that either!”</p><p>A small light shines in Lee Hoon’s eyes, then a smile in quick succession. Soorim smiles with him. Even small wins with him fills Soorim’s chest with that lovely fluttery feeling.</p><p>“You’re not going to die, you know. Not while I’m here. I’m going to do whatever it takes to get you out of there,” he says resolutely, gazing into the starry sky. A gust of wind rustles the trees.</p><p>“That’s not what I meant- Soorim, I-”</p><p>But before Lee Hoon can finish his sentence, there’s a deep, unfamiliar voice.</p><p>“Hooni! There you are!”</p><p>Lee Hoon freezes. There’s a man running up to them. He’s relatively tall, with a slim build, and a clean appearance. His hair is brown and neat and cut short, frameless glasses shielding round eyes, and wears an expensive-looking suit. It’s relatively easy to figure out who he is. But, needless to say, his appearance isn’t anything like all the abusive fathers on TV or books. There was no stumbling drunk donning a stained shirt and a predatory grin. In fact, the man even looks almost…harmless. He yanks Lee Hoon to his feet, his dark, dark eyes narrowed on Soorim with something cruel behind them.</p><p>The man fixates his attention on Lee Hoon. “I’ve been looking all over for you, you little punk! What trouble have you been getting into?”</p><p>Soorim glares back at the man. Lee Hoon’s father fixates his gaze back on his son and smiles. Soorim feels his blood start to boil. So this is what a real-life villain looks like.</p><p>“Today’s the last day y’know.” The villain takes a look around. “So this is where you’ve been going everyday. Good thing it’s not so far from where we live, huh?” Lee Hoon’s father ruffles his son’s hair. Playfulness fills his tone. Lee Hoon grimaces and shys away.</p><p><em>I know what you’re gonna do to him once you get home, you sicko. And I’m not going to let you get away with it.</em> There’s something burning in his chest, pounding in his head.</p><p>“Oh, Hooni, I didn’t know you made a friend! Why didn’t you tell me that?” The villain, smiling, gets on his knees and holds out a hand. “Hi there, I’m Hooni’s father. Thanks for being his friend. What’s your name?”</p><p>Soorim spits. “Go to hell.”</p><p>He’s heard it in a couple movies, ones his mother reprimands him for watching but he watches anyway, but with the way the villain’s atrocious smile cracks just a little, he figures it did the job rather nicely.</p><p>In front of him, Lee Hoon trembles. “Soorim…”</p><p>But the villain laughs. “What a greeting! I thought that any friend my son makes would be spineless like him, but I guess not. But who would’ve guessed his first friend would be so rambunctious? You seem like you’d be more like one of his bullies, to be honest.”</p><p>Face snarling, Soorim bites, “I’d never lay a hand on him. Or ever, ever hurt him. It’s a little sad that you can’t say the same.”</p><p>Once again, the man merely laughs. Soorim’s never heard a more repulsive sound in his life. “So what lies has my silly son been feeding you?”</p><p>Now, Soorim’s shouting. He’s never felt this heated, this intense. He’s running on rage, yelling, “they’re not lies, I’ve know all about how you’ve been hurting him-!”</p><p>“My son’s quite a horrible liar, you see. Does it all the time.”</p><p>“Yeah right! Once I tell my mom, you’re never going to see him again.” And didn’t that put a smirk on the monster’s face.</p><p>“Listen here, boy.” The monster puts his hands on Soorim’s shoulders and squeezes, nails gouging into his back. He tries not to flinch from the pain. “Look into my eyes. I know the kinds of ridiculous tales my son spins. He tells them all the time, to anyone who will listen. But they’re. Not. True.”</p><p>
  <em>Save him! You’re the only one who can!</em>
</p><p>But suddenly in close proximity, Soorim could now see this villain’s eyes were of a murky, dead darkness much unlike Lee Hoon’s. They screamed a despair that expanded into something monstrous and clawed its way around Soorim’s heart, constricting, constricting. It had his hands clammy and knees weak, gallons of sweat running down his body. He wanted to keel over, to throw up, to- to-</p><p>To run away.</p><p>What?</p><p>“Th-then what about all those bruises and scratches I see on him? How d-do you explain that?” </p><p>“Bullies. Terrible, terrible bullies,” the villain- no, the monster responds with ease. </p><p>A small voice pipes up in his brain. <em>Run away… Run away…</em></p><p>“He doesn’t e-even go to school right now!” There goes his stupid traitor tongue again, stuttering when he should be showing no fear.</p><p>Don’t back down. Don’t back down.</p><p>“Kids are cruel. That doesn’t stop when school ends. It happens any time, any place. And, well, look at my son,” he stands and steps aside, then yanks Lee Hoon, who yelps, directly in front of Soorim. ”Go on, take a good look at him.”</p><p>Lee Hoon’s sweating bullets, eyes off to the side of Soorim ashamedly. The fate of him rests on Soorim’s shoulders. Whatever happens to Lee Hoon will ride on him and him alone, whether he wants it to or not. He has to be a hero, whether he wants to or not- and he doesn’t. He’s just a boy- just a boy- not a hero- just a small, terrified boy, who just wants to go home with his best friend and eat something warm for dinner- they’re both just two small, terrified boys. </p><p>But none of that matters, not at all. No one will swoop in and magically save them from this. Don’t back down. </p><p>Still, there’s that defiant, shameful voice again, running its mouth. <em>Save yourself, it’s not too late… Whatever happens to him… It’s none of your business, just like he said…</em></p><p>He grits his teeth and tries to snap out of it. <em>Shut up! I have to protect him! My most beloved friend is- I can’t just- just-</em></p><p>“So weak. Scrawny. Timid. Can’t stand up for himself at all. So, in other words, a good target. As much as it pains me to say. He’s been picked on all his life. I’ve seen it myself. I try to encourage him to fight back, but he just doesn’t, and I try to scare them off when it happens in front of me, but. Well. I can’t take care of everything for him. Some things he just has to do himself, you know. </p><p>“But I do love him. I love him dearly, even when he’s a liar and all pathetic like this,” he says this particularly affectionately. Soorim won’t be fooled. “Come on, I thought I already told you, Hooni. Men don’t cry. Dry your tears now, we’re going.” The villain rises to his feet and starts walking away. Lee Hoon nervously flits his eyes from his father and Soorim as he’s dragged away.</p><p>Protect him. Protect him.</p><p>(Just two small, terrified boys-)</p><p>Soorim instinctively reaches out and grabs Lee Hoon’s hand. He tugs as hard as he can. “Get-get away from him!”</p><p>He fixes those dead, dark eyes on Soorim, who returns his stare, unnerved as he may be. “What a persistent friend you have, Hooni. Hm… Watch this.” The monster crouches down once more. Turning away from Soorim and cupping his son’s cheek, he coos with that slimy smile, “hey, Hooni. Hooni. I love you so much. You’re the light of my life- you and your mother. I would never lay a finger on you. You think so too, right?”</p><p>“What..? Um…” Looking down, Lee Hoon winces and fiddles with his fingers.</p><p>The monster takes a quick hold of Lee Hoon’s wrists and forces them to the boy’s side. He clicks his tongue and chides, “none of that now. Properly look me in the eye, son.” Grabbing his chin to angle his face towards him, he says, “good. Let’s try this again. What do you think?”</p><p>“Ah… Uh…” hesitated Lee Hoon. “Yes, I think that you’re right… You l-love me and you- you would never…lay a finger on me…” It’s a weak lie to even Soorim’s ears. The monster presses on.</p><p>“And you want to leave your friend and go back to Grandma’s house, right?”</p><p>This drew an even longer silence, before “...yes,” mumbled Lee Hoon.</p><p>“Yes, what? Say it.” </p><p>Lee Hoon leaned away from him, as though any second, he would be swallowed by that caliginous abyss. - “Yes… I want to, uh... leave him and- uh, um...”</p><p>“Spit it out! We don’t have all night to hear your stuttering.”</p><p>“I want to leave him! And- and go home with you… dad.” </p><p>The monster chuckles. “Well, would you look at that. He said it himself. I don’t hit him. Look, he even wants to leave too. Is that enough for you? Won’t you let us go now?” </p><p>Lee Hoon’s face is scrunched up, flushed, mouth stretched into a tight frown and gaze sunken into the ground. He must be so tired. The sudden thought to pull him into a hug crosses Soorim’s mind.</p><p>“That’s- You clearly forced him to-!”</p><p>Again, the monster grabs his wrist and marches away, hurriedly pulling Lee Hoon along with him. “I’ll take that as a yes, then.” </p><p>Lee Hoon turns back and sends him a tiny smile. It conveys a message Soorim understands immediately: I’ll be fine.</p><p>It reassures him. Fogginess has started to cloud his mind long ago. He’s a little out of breath, and heaviness weighs his body down. Though he wants to, though the guilt is eating away at him (<em>that’s right, go ahead and watch him leave, you couldn’t be a hero after all, because after all you’re just a boy, just a boy who’ll let his friend go and be devoured alive, all because he’s tired and stupid and spineless-</em>), he can’t keep arguing, not in his current state. It’s time to throw in the towel. His mom is probably on the way to the playground, anyway.</p><p>So, tomorrow. Tomorrow, he’ll definitely convince Lee Hoon to live with him. It’s not impossible. He’ll report the monster to the police. Together, they’ll get him thrown in jail to rot for all that he’s done. And everything will be fine. They’ll watch all of his favorite movies and read his comics, and play hero just like they always do, and even go to school together. Eat together at lunch breaks, too. When Soorim makes new friends, he’ll introduce them to Lee Hoon- he’s always looked like he could use some more friends. </p><p>It will all be okay. He’s not unnerved at all by that monster. He's not. Tomorrow, he hopes that will all be true.</p><p>“See you tomorrow, Hyung!” Soorim exclaims, and tiredly waves his arm in the air. One last word. The monster (that one, that one that will devour him <em>alive as soon as they’re out of his sight, he’ll kill him I know he will, just wait and see, you foolish coward boy-</em>) stops his pace, only to look back. There’s a strange glimmer in his eye.</p><p>Lee Hoon doesn’t turn back, and they’re on their way again. Soorim watches until he can no longer hear their footsteps. </p><p>
  <em>Why didn’t he..?</em>
</p><p>Eventually, Soorim goes home. He doesn’t think. He sluggishly shrugs off the inevitable fretting of his family and heads for his room. That night, he sleeps fitfully.</p><p>--</p><p>The next morning, Soorim awakens early and heads for the playground. Today, he’ll do it. The sky is grey and the air is humid. He waits, seating himself on the same swing and idly pushing back and forth. </p><p>It rains. He pulls his hood up and continues his staring into nothing. Lee Hoon’s a little late today. It doesn’t matter. Rain or shine, Lee Hoon’s always shown up, though it was rare. They’d head to Soorim’s home and eat a warm, home-cooked meal. Lee Hoon shyly professed his love for his mother’s cooking a couple times, to which, time and time again, she’d thank him abashedly. Once he’d left, she said something along the lines of “oh, what a nice boy, you should invite him over here more often.” </p><p>Soorim’s anxiety quietly rises with every hour that passes. The sun sets. He goes home. </p><p>--</p><p>He wakes up sluggish and sweating, ready for another day at the playground. The rain has stopped. He breathes shallowly, wipes away the perspiration on his forehead. <em>His father’s keeping him on a shorter leash, no doubt</em>. An unusual drowsiness weighs down his eyelids, as though he hadn’t just woken up a minute ago. Thinking straight has become rather difficult, it seems. <em>No wonder he wasn’t there. Gotta keep him away from people who actually care, right?</em></p><p>Rising from his bed makes him dizzy. Too dizzy enough to start walking, apparently, he thinks as he collapses, chest to the floor. Whoops. The large thud attracts his mother. The next thing he knows, she’s there and scolding him, to which he starts to tune her out. </p><p>Fragments of her sentences are still heard by him, though. “Why did you… Can’t believe… Fever of …” </p><p>
  <em>Fever?</em>
</p><p>The floor disappears from beneath him and soon after, he’s in his bed, blankets holding him down, and something cold on his forehead. His sudden panic and pounding headache are swirling together to make a awful combination. </p><p>His mother tuts. Taking a wet rag, she wipes his face clean of sweat. “...Get some rest… No leaving… Medicine...” Soon after, there’s footsteps, fainter and fainter until there were only the birds.</p><p><em>No... No…</em> He bolts up, only to cry out and grab his head at the abrupt pain. <em>Wait! Not now…</em> Brown bangs stick to his forehead, to which he brushes away. Sucking in a breath, he thinks: this can’t happen. Not when he needs me. Any day and he’ll be there. I have to be there. </p><p>Getting to his feet provides some difficulty, but he manages to do it. Dizziness invades his mind. He stumbles, then steadies himself. He should hurry… Slowly, he stumbles to the door, only to bump into something solid. A wall, maybe?</p><p>“What are you doing, you idiot?!” shrieks a high-pitched voice. Ugh. If only it was a wall. Harim’s in his sight, and soon, he’s being led back to his bed and agressively tucked under the covers once again. “You’re so stupid for getting sick! Now I have to take care of you when I could be literally anywhere else,” she griped.</p><p>He combs through his hair with his hand. It comes out moist. “Not so loud. Seriously… Shut up or I’ll cough on you...” he rasped.</p><p>The corners of her mouth stretch into a disgusted frown. “Ew,” said Harim and gagged. “Take your medicine,” she orders and shoves a tiny cup in his face.</p><p>Soorim sticks out his tongue at her. “Yuck.”</p><p>“Do it!” </p><p>“No way.” </p><p>“Just get it over with. The sooner you take it, the sooner you’ll get better, and we’ll both be out of here.” </p><p>Now <em>that</em> was a good argument. He swipes the cup, pinches his nose, and drinks it. Blergh. Unsurprisingly, it’s disgusting. There’s a cup of water by his bedside table, placed there by Harim earlier. He grabs it and eagerly gulps it down. It’s refreshing. Now that Soorim thinks about it, his throat feels as dry as the desert. Water leaks out at the edge of his mouth, to which Harim squints and makes that revolted expression again. She looks ugly, and Soorim’s glad to let his sister know that. </p><p>“Whatever, we all know you’re the ugliest in the family anyways. I’m gonna go now, call me if you need anything. I’ll come back in a few hours with more medicine.” And with that, she was gone. </p><p>Soorim breathed deeply, felt the air entering his lungs. The urge to sleep pulls down his eyelids.</p><p>Drifting towards sleep, the last thought he has is: sorry, Hyung. I’ll be there tomorrow…</p><p>--</p><p>True to his word, Soorim was back in the playground the next day, after following all of his mother’s and Harim’s instructions and recovering very quickly. He’s there the next day too. And the next. And the next, time spent kicking up dust and staring into the distance, ears ready to pick up Lee Hoon’s gentle voice. Weeks pass. Lee Hoon never shows. Soorim learns to stop in December, when the cold of winter starts to become unbearable.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Soorim gets a tsundere friend. Remember when I said that there's gonna be hella ocs? Well, this is it. </p>
<p>--</p>
<p>hi! originally i planned to release this later, but it's soorim's birthday today, so i felt a very strong sense of urgency to do it today. i'm not really satisfied with how this turned out, but i'm not sure if i'll the time nor patience today to edit it, so this is what you get. sorry ;; i may edit it in the future though, we'll see.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Now thirteen years old, Soorim spends his days relatively carefree. He’s the smartest in the school, had achieved 1st place without much effort and continues to do so, to the ire and jealousy of some of his classmates. Most of them like his easy-going attitude and the friendly aura about him. People flock to him and he finds friends easily enough. It doesn’t feel the same, but Soorim doesn’t expect it to. Lee Hoon was one-of-a-kind. Once in a lifetime. He’d known it as soon as they’d met: you won’t get another one like this. Don't lose sight of him and hold on tight.</p>
<p>Clearly, he hadn’t held on tight enough. Lee Hoon had slipped out of his grasp like water and so. Well. Here he was.</p>
<p>But it wasn’t bad. His friends, for one, were great. His circle is large, larger and better and tighter than he’s ever had, and there’s a great many he can consider close. Thick as thieves, they’d go around the city and get up to all sorts of mischief. They even all dyed their hair and styled them together, all to their parents’ firm shock and disapproval. Soorim had ended up favoring his new bright blonde cut more than he thought he would. Maybe he’ll keep it this way. </p>
<p>But try as he might, he can’t put the memory of long gone childhood friend behind him. There’s never going to be another Lee Hoon. Soorim knows that well, he does, he really does. How could he not, when the fact repeats itself in his mind everyday? It's all okay, it's fine- he can accept it. He’s satisfied with it. Or, anyways, he has to be. </p>
<p>(And if he lays awake late into the night, obsessing over thoughts of what it would be like to hear his voice again, saying his name in that demure way of his, or even dreams of lying with him, sprawled out on the grass and holding hands on a warm summer day, or even spends hours wondering whatever became of the boy that was, and still is, his most beloved friend- well, his other friends would never hear of it. It was nobody’s business but his.)</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Soorim’s dreaming of a boy weeping over a hospital bed. On it, there's a sheet over someone Soorim doesn't know. The boy’s in his early teens, just like Soorim, and holding a limp, white hand to his face. Besides him is a monster, large and looming, with eyes of the abyss. Its head is down, hand clutching the small boy’s shoulder. The two resemble a picture Soorim’s seen in TV commercials: a small, vulnerable animal in a cage. Disgusted, Soorim thinks: the monster really didn't know when to give it up, did he? Even in the face of a tragedy, his hold is as unwavering as it was back then.</p>
<p>This is the start of something unspeakably horrible. Soorim reaches out for the boy, but he’s wrenched away as he wakes up with a beeping in the background and a sick, sick feeling in his stomach. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p>The first day of a new school year, Soorim’s assigned to sit next to a boy named Seo Chul-Moo. Apparently, he’s mute. The rumor appears to be true so far, as Soorim’s never heard him speak. Aside from occasionally drumming his fingers on his desks and getting up from his desk, Soorim sort of forgets he’s there some days. One day, Seo’s staring out the window, looking aloof. Soorim clears his throat and starts to babble.</p>
<p>“Nice weather today, huh?”</p>
<p>Seo startles and stares back at him. <em>Ohhhh, what the hell am I saying…</em></p>
<p>“I’d like to be out there, playing soccer or something. The breeze is nice- ah, it’s kinda hot though. Maybe after school, I’ll even stop by the ice cream shop. Hey, what flavor of ice cream’s your favorite?”</p>
<p>“...” Seo’s giving him this scrunched up look on his face, that reads <em>really? You’re talking about that?</em></p>
<p>The memory of his teacher’s voice echoes back in his head. They’d talked one on one, a couple days ago. <em>You’re pretty chatty, Jung.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Hey!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s a good thing! Anyways, talk to Seo and help him out, okay? I seated him next to you for a reason. People are saying he’s a mute, but that’s all just horse shit if you ask me. Either he’s got some problems up there or he’s just an uppity brat who thinks he’s too good to talk to people like us. Rich boys are like that sometimes. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I’m thinking it’s that second one. He’s always looking at us with those eyes, like we’re all dirt under his shoes. It’s getting annoying, especially to someone like me, y’know? It’s like, I’m your teacher and your elder! Show a little respect, you know. But you’re a good kid and I know you’ll get through to him. So just do it, okay? I’ll give you some extra credit if you want.</em>
</p>
<p>He irked Soorim, but his interest was piqued, as new people were always interesting to him, and hey, they sat next to each other for most of the school day, so as a bonus, it was convenient. That was more than enough to get him to start talking to Seo, though he denied his teacher’s proposal of extra credit.</p>
<p>“So you really don’t talk?”</p>
<p>Seo scoffs. “...I do.” His voice is notably hoarse and quiet. Not used much, Soorim guessed. “Mint.”</p>
<p>“Whaaat?!” Soorim exclaimed and looked at him in abject horror. “But everyone knows mint is the worst flavor of ice cream!”</p>
<p>“It isn’t.”</p>
<p>“It is!”</p>
<p>Seo shakes his head.</p>
<p>“Except it totally is. Ask anyone, literally anyone, and they’ll tell you what I said.”</p>
<p>“It’s subjective.”</p>
<p>“Hm…” Squinting, Soorim hums and puts a hand behind his ear. “What’s that? Sounds a lot like ‘I’m Seo and I have the worst opinion on ice cream ever. Please, Jung, teach me your ways and invite me to your ice cream shop escapade after school today!’”</p>
<p>Seo pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. “Why, dear student, since you asked so nicely, I’d be happy to take you with me! I’ll happily educate you on all kinds of ice cream and even try some flavors with you, and you’ll be able to see-!”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Why not? You’ve got something to do or something?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>The bell chimes and Seo’s packed and gone before Soorim can say anything.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>“Today! Come with me today!”</p>
<p>Upon hearing Soorim energetically declare that so early in the morning, especially considering that he’s been asking for the same thing for a godforsaken <em>week</em>, Seo makes the same repulsed expression that, at this point, he’s practically mastered. He shakes his head, sits down, and pulls out a book.</p>
<p>“Come on, I’ve got a feeling today’s gonna be great!”</p>
<p>He gives a particularly nasty look to Soorim, who only smiles wider in return.</p>
<p>“You’ve gotta come along with me and you’ll have a great day too.” He rests his cheek on the desk and pouts. “Please?”</p>
<p>“Go with your friends.”</p>
<p>“But I don’t want to go with them. I want to go with you.”</p>
<p>Still donning that same glare, he takes a deep breath and mutters, “What makes me so different?”</p>
<p>“Hm… Nothing really. You’re just interesting so I think it’d be cool to be friends.”</p>
<p>“Don’t get ahead of yourself."</p>
<p>Soorim puts his elbow on his desk and plants his cheek on his hand, angling his head diagonally. “But we really could be. I think you're interesting.”</p>
<p>Seo turns back to his book. </p>
<p>“Hey, Seo.”</p>
<p>No response, no movement to show he had even heard Soorim.</p>
<p>“Seo, man.”</p>
<p>Nothing, again. He shoves his head further into the book.</p>
<p>“Come on, man. Seoooo-”</p>
<p>He covers his ears. The bell rings for lunch break, and Seo walks briskly away. What a troublesome person, he thinks.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Tonight, Soorim’s dreaming of the boy again. He’s alone and slumped against the wall, eyes lidded. He’s phasing in and out of consciousness, blood streaming down from his forehead. Around him is a mess of broken bottles, wrecked furniture, and other household items. A cracked picture frame of a woman and a younger version of him, holding hands and smiling, lies on the ground.</p>
<p>He needs to stay alive. Quickly, he needs to get out of here and to a hospital- sure the bill will be high and maybe he’ll go back to his father after his hospital stay, and maybe he’ll beat him bloody again, and maybe it’s just another debt to pile on with the others, but that doesn’t matter, he just needs to get through this and <em>stay breathing, don’t worry, everything will-</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Why? Why do those things have to happen?</em>
</p>
<p>What a ridiculous question. He has to keep living, of course.</p>
<p>
  <em>Why should he have to do that?</em>
</p>
<p>Because there are good things are ahead of him, and if he dies now, he’ll never be able to experience those things-</p>
<p>
  <em>What are these good things you speak of? He’s been saying that to himself for years, trying to keep his head up, but nothing ever came of it. His mother is dead, his father wants him dead. He has no friends. Besides, with those grades, he’s never going anywhere, never going to amount to anything. There’s no hope for him, no space, no love. Death is the only way out, so please, have mercy.</em>
</p>
<p>…</p>
<p>
  <em>Can’t say anything, huh?</em>
</p>
<p>So the boy stayed, slumped against the wall and bleeding pools worth of blood. He imagines a wild, brown-haired boy shines like the sun, so much so that sometimes it was difficult to look at him. Above the two is a starry sky, and the boy’s smiling at him like he was anything but trash, just scummy, dirty trash under his feet that he was kind enough not to crush. </p>
<p>He slides to the floor, stares at the stars, and tries very hard to die.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Today, Soorim’s odd. Odder, anyways, and definitely more irritating. Seo had been dreading the inevitable meeting that would come the next day. He realized the more he had acknowledged him in any way, even in rejection, the more Soorim was spurred on. And so Seo came to one conclusion: ignore, ignore, ignore. Sure, he’d been attempting it the past few days, but he had always somehow lost his resolve along the way and ended up responding to Soorim. Today, however, that would <em>not</em> be the case. Today, he’d really do it and finally get him off his back, once and for all.</p>
<p>Except as soon as he gets to his seat, Soorim looks over, greets him with a “yo, morning,” and turns his attention back to his phone. </p>
<p>How bare. It’s unnerving, to say the least.</p>
<p>“So… you coming with me to the ice cream shop today?”</p>
<p>No, Seo’s not relieved, not relieved in the slightest when he sees the first sign of normalcy. He rejects Soorim in the same way he’s done all week- a simple and short “No,” except this time he adds an extra “I want nothing to do with you.” But sometimes, if he doesn’t feel like putting in the effort to do even that, he merely shakes his head.</p>
<p>And then they’ll get into this foolish back-and-forth conversation that he’s learned to incorporate into his daily life, Soorim continuously begging Seo to go with him, and Seo turning him down all the same, and <em>no</em>, it’s not fun, not in the slightest, he does <em>not</em> look forward to it, thank you very much, that’s ridiculous, how could you even insinuate something like that, Soorim’s just an insignificant low-life delinquent idiot who-</p>
<p>“‘Kay,” Soorim says offhandedly, turning back to his phone. Seo almost balks. Getting a closer look at him, Seo finds faint, dark circles under his eyes and an odd pale look to his skin. <em>Is he just too tired? What, too much video games?</em></p>
<p>Seo sits and waits. A few minutes pass, class is nearly starting, honestly, if he’s going to try another fruitless attempt, he should just do it now. He retrieves a textbook from his book bag and tries to read it, but he can’t focus because he keeps waiting-</p>
<p>Class starts. Still, nothing. Not even an attempt at passing notes, which Soorim tried once and was instantly met with a paper ball to the face. At the bell for lunch break, Soorim wordlessly rises and exits the classroom, presumably to join his no-good, delinquent friends. Seo hunches in his seat and crosses his arms.</p>
<p>But it’s what he wanted since the beginning, wasn’t it? A peaceful school life, uninterrupted by blonde blockheads who don’t know when to shut their mouths? This moron had invaded his studying time nearly everyday, minimal as the short breaks between lessons were, and had sometimes even his mind after school- it’s unforgivable, really, but now that it’s finally over, shouldn’t he be jumping for joy? Figuratively, of course.</p>
<p>Why was he so- so… </p>
<p>He bites his nails, an unsightly habit he’s cultivated over the years that he just couldn’t seem to snap out of. And it comes to him, this mysterious, perfect justification of his anger-</p>
<p>
  <em>I’ve had to change my daily routine for you, so take responsibility, idiot.</em>
</p>
<p>It makes perfect sense, actually. Routine is one of Seo's most valued aspects of his life. He's learned to incorporate Soorim into his life, has had to introduce changes to certain things to make room for him, though he was practically dragging his nails on the floor while doing so. He's already accepted this change in his life a long time ago. Therefore, this change, yet another change, was simply unacceptable. Seo refused to be yanked back and forth just because Soorim didn’t <em>feel</em> like playing out his role.</p>
<p>The next day plays out nearly the same- an almost listless greeting, like all the life had been sucked out of him one day, and is followed by nothing, nothing, and even more nothing. Once class is over, Soorim quickly leaves the room. Seo would have to be the one to act, he supposes.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>That same scene’s playing out before him- Soorim, with that same zombie demeanor, slinking out of the classroom , but not for any longer. Not this time.</p>
<p>Seo catches up to him in the hallway, though it costs him an undignified half-jog. He taps him on the shoulder, to which Soorim whirls around to face him. That puzzled expression makes him look even more stupid than usual.</p>
<p>“Hm? Oh, it’s you.”</p>
<p>“Let’s go.”</p>
<p>Soorim tilts his head to the side. “What? Like, to the shop?”</p>
<p>A nod. </p>
<p>Soorim does a visible double take. Seo’s regretting this already. “Woah, seriously?”</p>
<p>Another nod, though he’s getting more irate by the second. Better get this over with before he could change his mind.</p>
<p>“Ahaha, I’d really love to, but I’m kinda busy today. See, there’s this new resident moving in today, apparently he’s close to my age, oh, my mom owns an apartment complex, did I tell you that? Anyways, I gotta wel- oh!” And they’re off, Seo furiously dragging him by the sleeve, and Soorim letting himself be dragged.</p>
<p>--</p>
<p>“So is this the best ice cream you’ve ever tasted or what?” </p>
<p>They’re walking down the road aimlessly, sun still high in the sky, and they’ve just gotten their ice cream. The entire way, Soorim had chatted his ear up, acting nothing like how he did yesterday. It seems that whatever he was thinking about before, is completely out of his mind now. Unfortunately, he was serious in his claim to, as he’d put it, “teach him his ways”, and yes, Seo’s questioning himself if he really should abandon this idiot, concern for normalcy be damned. He gives a nonchalant shrug.</p>
<p>Soorim grins with his teeth, smugness radiating from his being. “Hehe, I knew you’d love it!” he announces and gives a few licks at his own confectionery. “Mmm, delicious as always. Mint really is the worst, huh?”</p>
<p>Seo shakes his head. </p>
<p>“Man, even after that, you’re still insistent? Guess it can’t be helped~ Let’s go again tomorrow, my treat.”</p>
<p>Seo rolls his eyes but doesn’t show any disagreement. Instead, he motions to a bench at a nearby park. </p>
<p>“You wanna sit there? Ah...” Soorim’s eyes widen, as if spooked. He scratches the back of his neck and shifts his eyes, and gives a nervous sort of chuckle. “That park’s no good, y’know?”</p>
<p>Seo tilts his head.</p>
<p>Holding out both hands, one pointed up and the other spread out, he says, “well, you see, my, uh, my first girlfriend, ex-girlfriend now, I caught her, um... cheating on me with some other guy. She broke up with me on the spot. Pretty harshly too. Really, just... shattered my heart into pieces! Since then, that place sorta just brings back bad memories for me. So let’s just not go there, okay?”</p>
<p>He raises a brow. Soorim gives a strained smile, feels the heat of being under scrutinization. Seo doesn’t know it, but he gives Soorim clemency by passing him, continuing on the path. The rest of their walk, Soorim gleefully fills the silence with small, pointless talk (<em>what do you after school? Oh, studying? Horseback riding? Reading? Well, I do some light reading sometimes too… Comic books, that is- wait, why are you speeding up? Come back!</em>) until Soorim brings up the question Seo had, up to this point, had really been wishing he wouldn’t.</p>
<p>“So… why’d you say yes?”</p>
<p>Seo drops his ice cream onto the pavement. </p>
<p>“Ah, what a shame,” the blonde says, bending to pick up the cone and discarding it to the nearest trash can. “So why’d you say yes out of a sudden? Was it…”</p>
<p>
  <em>Shit. Shit. Shit shit shit fuck fuck god motherfucking dammit-</em>
</p>
<p>All up in his ear, Soorim whispers, “...because you missed me, or something?”</p>
<p>For once, the thought of dignity never once crosses his mind as he shoves Soorim off and bangs on his chest with his fists, Soorim all the while laughing hysterically , like he’s having the time of his life.</p>
<p>
  <em>Of course not! Stupid, stupid delinquent, why are you laughing, you dumb, idiotic dimwit, it’s my schedule, s-c-h-e-d-u-l-e, get it, god, this is why I never associate with people like you, can’t even fathom why-</em>
</p>
<p>“Okay! Okay!” Soorim wipes away the tears from his eyes. “I get it, man! You can stop that now! It’s- ahaha, it’s just a joke! Take it easy, man!” He swats Seo’s back, to which he straightens his back and glares. </p>
<p>“You know! A joke!” Another swat. Somehow, Seo’s just as shocked as the first time. “Because we’re friends?” </p>
<p>A roll of his eyes.</p>
<p>“We are, we are!”</p>
<p>Another.</p>
<p>“Come on, aren’t we?”</p>
<p>Seo shakes his head furiously, arms crossed. They were NOT friends, no matter how much the babbling fool would insist. In what universe would Seo sink to his level and befriend someone like him? The answer is, of course, is none. In no universe would he ever stick to him willingly, waste his precious time willingly, this was all just for his schedule, changing it again and getting used to it would be too big of a hassle, and alright, maybe he could admit that he enjoyed their conversations a little, a LITTLE, only a little but it was mostly that other reason-</p>
<p>“I can’t really think of any reason but that. Won’t you tell me, then?”</p>
<p>A dirty look, as if Seo had just said the most idiotic thing known to have ever been said.</p>
<p>“Come on, tell me!”</p>
<p>Seo was forced to admit that he finds himself somewhat… reluctant to tell Soorim. Had all this time, actually, though more now it had presented itself in front of him. It was a perfectly valid reason, wasn’t it? Seo shouldn't be doubting himself. After all, why else would Seo have gotten so bothered? In the end, he says it. </p>
<p>“Daily schedule, huh? Yeah, it makes sense you’d value that routine stuff a lot. But if I really did annoy you, why…” Soorim trails off. A smile comes across his face then, and he shuts up, like he thought better of whatever he was about to say. He pushes Seo along the path. “Actually, never mind about that. Hehe, I’m just really glad you decided to come along.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p>
  <em>They’re on a grassy hill, spread out like starfishes. The air is calm and light. It’s a perfect July day.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“...Hey, Soorim?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yeah? What’s up?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I was just thinking about something.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Go on…”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Actually, never mind. Forget it.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What? No, now you’ve gotta tell me! You can’t keep me waiting like that and not even say it!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It’s a little silly though… You might laugh at me.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I would NEVER laugh at you. Never ever ever! I swear it!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Ok, fine, it’s just… Are we friends?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What..? Ahaha!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“See, I told you you’d laugh!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“No, I just… ahahaha!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Stop it!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Ok, ok, sorry. Don’t look so pouty, man. But that’s seriously what you’ve been worrying about?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yeah…”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Why have you been worrying about that?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Well, it’s just… I’ve never had any friends before, and we meet each other everyday, so… Isn’t that what friends do?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Dude, hell yeah we’re friends!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Oh my gosh, you just said a bad word.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Oops, forget you heard that. But yeah, we’re friends. But not only just friends, we’re BEST friends. ULTIMATE best friends. The BEST of best friends, out of all the best friends in Korea, and like, even the world.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Oh… really?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yeah! To be honest, I’m a little disappointed you’ve only JUST been thinking about this. I’ve thought of you as my best friend for ages.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“It’s only been a month…”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“A long time, I mean a long time. Well, I’ve been thinking of you as my best friend, but that only works if you think it too. So, what do you say? Friends?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’d-I’d love that… Thanks, Soorim.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Hehe, no problem!”</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yes, seo is super annoying, yes i had a lot of fun writing him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯</p>
<p>dw though this is not the end of hooni! he's more present in future chapters. seo's going to be more relevant to soorim than just a boring tsun tsun friend. we'll get there eventually lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*comes out under rock* hey, remember me? lol</p><p>if these two scenes seem disorganized and unrelated, it's because they completely are. i had plans for them i swear D: i won't be working on this fic any longer (unless i read the webtoon again and get into it again, but that's probably not gonna happen), and these are the only two scenes i had for another chapter that were relatively ready for posting. felt like i had to post all i had ready, even if it isn't nearly enough. really sorry to anyone who remembered this and hoped for another complete chapter ;-;</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Soulmates. It’s a term Soorim’s heard thrown around, particularly in the conversations between gossiping girls and a few boys in his class, all starry-eyed and dreamy sighs. One day, while not particularly keeping his ear out, he’d picked up a chat between two of his classmates. <em>Did you hear? Eun Jung found her soulmate. She knew it from first sight, and she said she’s all dreamy and beautiful and they’re already planning their lives around each other… I can’t wait to find mine…</em> Dating sites, books, and movies were common factors too, all revolving around couples madly in love.</p><p><em>Your fated one?</em>, is what he heard when he’d offhandedly asked his mother in his earlier years. <em>Oh, what’s got you so interested?</em> She giggled, attention divided between her son and dicing onions. <em>Or should I say, </em>who’s<em> got you so interested? Oh~ I was just the same when I was your-</em></p><p>At the time, he’d groaned <em>no one, mom. I’ve just… seen it in some shows ‘n stuff. Some of the girls in my class talked about it too. So what is it? What do you mean by fated one?</em></p><p><em>Heehee, your father and I were soulmates, you know,</em> gushed his mother, never taking her eyes off the cutting board. <em>It was wonderful. When we were together, he always gave me this rushing, fluttery-</em></p><p>He blinked. </p><p>
  <em>-feeling. You’d have to really drag us away from each other to separate us. It was that wonderful. Everyday was like a dream. Then there was that terrible accident, and your father was taken away from us. But. I still have you, so life’s not so difficult without him. </em>
</p><p><em>But I guess that doesn’t really explain what it is, does it.</em> She stepped away from the kitchen counter and faced him. <em>It’s actually a little difficult to explain. I’ll try my best.</em></p><p>
  <em>Your soulmate is someone who, once you come of age and meet, will make you feel you’re the only two people in the entire world. It’s electrifying, which sounds a little scary and painful, but trust me, it’s really nice. Like you’ve gone all your life without fun or delicious food or all things good, and you’ve just stumbled upon a goldmine of those things. You’ll have dreams and visions of them, and their thoughts running through your head a couple times, though you might not know it at first. I know the first couple times it happened to me, I thought I was going crazy!</em>
</p><p>She touched his cheek and sat him down on a stool. <em>But just ‘cause you’ll love them, doesn’t mean they’ll be exactly like you. In fact, chances are, the two of you could be remotely different. They won’t agree on everything with you, but that’s not the point. Your soulmate…</em> His mother looked off into the distance, as though she was lost in a precious memory. <em>They’ll be your complement. You’ll help each other. You’ll understand each other. And… no matter how much a person can say they don’t need anybody, we all feel this- this desire to be seen and understood. And to be accepted and reassured and concerned over. With your soulmate, there’s no judgement. No pressure. No danger. It’s all just love.</em></p><p>Tears flowed out of her eyes.</p><p>
  <em>Are you okay, mom?</em>
</p><p><em>Yeah, yeah. Just, um,</em> she hesitated, wiped them away with her sleeve, and laughed, <em>aha… ahaha! Oh, I just thought of your father and I got a little sad… It was so long ago, but when I remember him, I just get so…</em></p><p>He pulls her into a hug. She reciprocates, wrapping her arms around his back. </p><p>
  <em>Where was I… Oh right. They won’t be able to give you everything you could possibly need, or solve all of your problems. No one person can do that. But when the going gets tough, they’ll give you their heart and you’ll do the same, and it’ll be just a bit easier to breathe.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I don’t really… </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, yeah, don’t worry about that, </em>she ruffles his hair<em>, sorry, don’t think about it too much. It wasn’t the best explanation, and you’re so young, too. But when you’re older and finally meet them, I hope what I’m saying makes a little more sense. I know your soulmate will be wonderful, Soorim, just like you. When you find them, there’ll be sparks and fireworks and it’ll feel like… like you were born to meet them.</em>
</p><p>That night, he laid awake yet again, born to meet them and the smile of a boy long gone in his mind.</p><p>--</p><p>Soorim feels like his head is underwater. The dream playing out before him is hazy and barely there; if he were to reach out his hand and grasp it, it would dissipate like smoke.</p><p>
  <em>On a stormy day, they’re at Soorim’s. The lights flicker at a particularly loud rumble of thunder, but they ignore it. Lee Hoon’s on the matted floor, legs spread out, hands loosely tied to one of Soorim’s bedposts. “Aaah,” Lee Hoon says flatly, “The Despicable Demon of Darkness and Despair and Other Words That Start With D has captured me and is holding me hostage. Save me, Super Soorim. I’m trapped and very, very helpless. Noooo.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Soorim’s head peeks out of his closet. He huffs. “Not like that! You’ve gotta do it with more energy, like you’re really afraid! And that’s not what I said his name was, cut that last part out!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“But I don’t wanna,” whines Lee Hoon, dragging out the last word. “This is boring! I wanna be the hero!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Then maybe you should have won the game!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Dude, it was rock-paper-scissors!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Ugh, fine, you can be the hero next time, ok? Now do it like I said!” With that, Soorim disappears back into the closet. It’s getting pretty stuffy in here. A bead of sweat forms on his forehead, which he swipes away. He waits in anticipation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He hears a muffled, “ok, whatever,” a pause, an audible sigh, and then, “save me, Super Soorim! If the Despicable Demon of Darkness and Despair comes back soon, I might be eaten! Ohh, I’m so scared, I might just faint!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>With a bang, Soorim's bursting out, a makeshift red cape (blanket) trailing behind him, and donning boots too large for him. He swings a dull, wooden sword wildly and runs around the room. “I’ll save you, Innocent Civilian Hyung!” He swats random toy men and dinosaurs, grinning triumphantly when they all fall at his feet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re acting more like Godzilla than-”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“So you’ve come,” comes a deep voice from behind him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why’re you voicing him like that-”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Shush!” He exclaims. Turning around, he gasps.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Towering over him is a coat hanger, and from it hangs a large, black trench coat, a bowler hat, and a pair of taped-on sunglasses.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“The Despicable Demon of Darkness and Despair, it’s you!” He narrows his eyes and tightens his grip on his sword. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He smirks. “Yes, it is I! Ready to wreak havoc upon Korea, and then, the world! Mwahahaha!” The villain unsheathes his sword (broken toy lightsaber, which Hooni takes a second to tape on) from his back and brandishes it. “And there will be nobody to stop me!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Soorim charges at him. “Not if I can help it!” The two of them, leaders of the ultimate, ultra-cool forces of good and evil, the light and the dark, are soon engaged in an epic, all-out battle. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But in the end, good always triumphs! With one final slicing attack, it’s all over. The demon is knocked onto the ground. He’s met his demise. Satisfied, Soorim sprints over to Lee Hoon and quickly undoes his restraints. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Are you alright?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lee Hoon looks to the left, sighs, and looks back. Then, clasping his hands together, he exclaims, “Oh, my mighty hero Super Soorim, I shall be in debt to you for as long as I live!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He grins and runs a hand through his hair. Extremely modestly, he says “oh, there’s no need for such high praises, Innocent Civilian Hyung. It was not such a difficult feat. Really, I only did my duty!”</em>
</p><p>The dream’s getting more clouded now, their surroundings blurring and sound getting more distorted...</p><p>
  <em>Rolling his eyes, which Soorim pretends not to see, Lee Hoon clasps his hands. “No, I simply must insist! What can I possibly do to make up for this?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Grinning cheekily, Soorim shrugs. “Well, I can only think of one thing.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“What could that be? Oh, I’ll do anything!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Really? Okay. Kiss me on the cheek.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In a millisecond, Lee Hoon’s crawled away and backed against the wall. Pink spreads through his cheeks. “Wh-wh-wh-what-?! What are you saying, great hero S-S-Super Soorim?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“A kiss!” Soorim points a finger to his cheek. “Right here.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’ve gotta be kidding…” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Nope!” He crawls on over to him. “Come here, Hyung! It’s what they all do in the movies. Now hurry, my mom’ll be calling us for dinner soon!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Cheeks now a blushy pink mess, he leans in and gives Soorim’s cheek a swift peck, and now Soorim’s the one with the blushy pink mess on his face. He clears his throat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Ahaha, thank you, dear civilian! Now remember...”</em>
</p><p>Seemingly, this dream is coming to an end. The sight of Lee Hoon is randomly deforming to a shapeless figure of grey. His room is fading to black. Soorim’s speech is affected by an onslaught of starts and stops, random repeats, and long pauses. There’s a buzz of static in his ears, growing louder.</p><p>
  <em>“When you’re in trouble, you-you-you know who to. Call! If you ever-ever need me, I’ll be there to-to-to! Beat! Anyone up. And save. You. From anything, no matter what...it is... To… Help you!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From the dark, a voice cries out. “Please... help me...”</em>
</p><p>Soorim jerks awake. Breathes deeply, in and out, in and out. Wipes off sweat on his forehead and stares, heart pounding in his ears, into the ceiling.</p><p>What <em>was</em> that?</p><p>--</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>can u spot the anime reference? lol when i wrote this, i was obsessively binging the show and movies and could not physically stop myself from not including it since it fit in so well with the soulmates shit.</p><p>so, this is the end. this past year was undoubtedly the worst year of my life for a lot of reasons (but mainly you, covid. thanks a lot, covid), but writing boy hero was a good reprieve from reality. reading all the really sweet comments and seeing kudos cheered me up a lot too, so super big thanks to anyone who did that! </p><p>suicide boy in general was a huge relief from real life. despite all the sketchy shit going on with the author (fuck that guy seriously), i really related to hooni and seeing his life gradually get better made me gain hope for mine. </p><p> </p><p>it's been fun ya'll, thanks to all my readers!!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>comments are appreciated ヽ(；▽；)ノ</p></blockquote></div></div>
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